aliology

I have never had a very good memory, partially due to being scatter-brained and partially due to childhood injuries. Over the years, saving things has become habit for me… so much so that I’ve become a bit of a hoarder. I have a memory box with pictures, tickets, letters, cards, and other items that help me remember people, events, and relationships. I have also saved many emails and AIM conversations from my middle school and high school years. Some are fights that I probably shouldn’t keep — but can’t seem to get rid of — and some are the records of getting to know Matthew. I’ve been looking over early conversations with Matthew lately and it just reminds me of how far he and I have come. We had chemistry from the very beginning and our relationship has grown exponentially since. As of today, Matthew and I have been together for three years.

We didn’t get to spend our anniversary together because he needed to return to work tonight. I was disappointed when I first found out that it would work out this way, but we spent the whole week together. After a year apart, this was all I wanted for our anniversary. We also spent the two days before this celebrating  and we’ll be at school together in less than five weeks — how can I complain?

Happy Anniversary, Matty!

We went to the local farmer’s market this morning to buy fresh fruit for today. Matthew had pleaded with Oma to make strawberry jam and my mom had hinted that she’d like some too. We bought rich, red strawberries; plump, navy blueberries; and large, juicy blackberries for jam and berry crumble. Not a single rotten berry in the store from what I could tell. For an appetizer to dinner, we bought avocados, roma tomatoes, and a red onion for me to make guacamole. I have never had such good luck with avocados before! Every one was ripe so that they felt like the palm of your hand when you pushed on them. This was my ideal food store: fresh fruits and veggies outside and more varieties of cheese inside than I could’ve imagined. Goat cheese, brie, cheddar… oh, yum.

I wish there were markets like this at home, but I haven’t found any that were convenient. I hate that I won’t be cooking much in college… baking and cooking are luxuries in my eyes. Its calming for me, I enjoy sharing what I’ve made, and I like to know what goes into the food that I eat. While I have my soft spot for junk food — Oreos, Snickers, soda, Sour Patch Kids — I usually like to eat healthy, fresh foods.

My anniversary present from Matthew was apparently supposed to arrive this morning in the mail, but no one answered the door when they came — even though we were all home and people were awake — so it seemed as if we’d have to pick up the package. Matthew found out the problem when he called about not receiving the delivery and to our surprise it was there when we got home.

I gave Matthew a new wallet from Fossil and filled it with notes, pictures, a letter from me, and hockey tickets. Matthew somehow was able to read my mind… I had been itching to get one of these for a while now but I hadn’t asked my parents yet. He got me an iPod Nano with a personal engraving on the back! Look — it’s so pretty!

Then he took the time to organize my playlists and transfer his music, Heroes episodes, and Dane Cook comedy albums. Thank you so much, baby!

When it came down to it, I decided not to make the berry crumble today. We ate some of the berries in the morning, but they ended up being a gift to our host. Matthew confided that he’d rather spend time with me on our last night here than have me spend it in the kitchen. So, he got his wish.

There are a lot of things that I always pack when I travel… shampoo and conditioner, for example. I always pack my computer, chargers, phone, clothes, and toiletries. However, I have never been accustomed to bringing active/athletic wear with me on vacation. My vacations are often full of leisure — a nicer way of saying laziness — and computers so running shoes, sports bras, sunscreen, and even socks are not usual necessities. I have realized though that visiting Matthew’s grandparents in California requires being prepared for adventure, exercise, and outdoor activity. I made the mistake of going out with them once without sunscreen or tennis shoes and my skin and feet paid a burning, blistering price. Happily, this time I was prepared.

This morning I got up early — 8:00 a.m. is early in my book — and left the house around 10:00 a.m. with Matthew, Oma, and Opa. We drove out into the country and up into the hills for a morning of hiking. The trail up Windy Peak began sheltered under the cover of dense, moss-covered trees and surrounded by thick, vibrant undergrowth. The winding uphill trail was refreshing as the morning breeze swept through the woods. With the change in elevation came a notable change in the landscape. As we began to summit, the trees gradually dispersed into vast fields of grass, strangely beautiful considering the drought that creates their amber hue. Freckled on the countryside were violet thistles, purple and yellow prairie flowers, dense green shrubs, and crimson berries. To the east, we could see the Stanford campus and San Francisco Bay and to the west, we could see the vast ocean extending beyond our view.

On our way up we encountered a lot of normal people and their dogs. Although, we met one person that I can’t classify as “normal.” Coming down from the top of the hill, we saw a man riding a mountain bike… well, I thought it was a bicycle until it came too close to be denied that it was, in fact, a unicycle. While he waited for the rest of his group who were on foot, not on more unicycles (like I had desperately hoped), he told us that he had done a lot of “mountain unicycling” across the country and hoped that it would eventually become an Olympic sport. I support his dreams completely because, not only is unicycling particularly entertaining to watch, it requires an intense combination of strength, balance, and endurance… and well, it’s just funny.

The hike down the hill was just as beautiful because of the view. However, it was afternoon when we began our descent so the sun, unblocked by trees overhead, beat down on us and the incline was hard on my knees. When we got home, I hopped into a soothing, hot bath with Jane Eyre to relax and get ready for Matthew’s surprise.

I overheard Matthew in the next room trying to make reservations, but when I asked him where we were going he wouldn’t tell me. Part of my anniversary surprise was a dinner for two, but the place remained a secret. As we were driving, I tried to weasel bits of information out of him like, “Are you sure I’ll like this place?” or “Have I ever been there before?” I knew, however, that when Matthew is protecting a surprise, he’ll often try to throw me off the scent. He told me that he didn’t think I’d ever been there, but what a lie! He took me to Benihana with a view of the San Francisco Bay!

I found out later that in response to Oma’s question, “Where are you taking her for dinner?” he had said, “Where else do you take a girl on your anniversary? Her favorite restaurant, of course.” If you know me well, you know that Benihana is my favorite restaurant and I get to go there only about once a year for my birthday. At most restaurants, I try to experiment with what I order. Benihana is always an exception because it is the only time I can get good calamari… so I stock up. I order calamari tempura, fried rice, and hibachi calamari. Calamari tempura is calamari dipped in batter, fried, and served with ginger sauce or mustard sauce. Hibachi calamari is calamari sauteed with asparagus and tomatoes then served with hot sauce. Needless to say, it was perfect… as evenings always are with Matthew. Even though I have enjoyed all the activity of my stay here, the best moments are the ones I get to spend with Matthew.

Just the two of us.
I love you.

Today, Matthew and I went into San Francisco with his grandparents, his cousin, Sophia, and a family friend. Our plan was to go to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit. When we went to buy our tickets, we found out that we couldn’t get into that exhibit until 4:00 p.m. In the meantime, we visited Yerba Buena Gardens where they were holding a festival of Latin music. We listened to a variety of musical styles ranging from a female Guatemalan singer to a Afro-Brazilian drumming troupe. The garden is a wide, vibrantly green field flecked with trees, bursting with people, and contained on all sides by high-rise buildings. In contrast to the fast-paced people rushing down the streets, the people here were at peace and enjoying the sights and sounds of San Francisco.

Eventually, we pulled ourselves away, had lunch, and returned to the museum. We paired off to explore the rest of the collections before meeting up at 4:00 p.m. Matthew and I set off upstairs and strolled through the exhibits. It turns out that he and I have very different styles of viewing art: Matthew rushes by many pieces until his attention is caught by something particularly special, then he stops abruptly and remains there to study it (at least until I catch up). I walk slowly, considering every piece and feverishly taking pictures of my favorites.

Right before we went to the Kahlo exhibit, Matthew and I caught the last bit of her documentary. The movie discussed her divorce and remarriage to Diego Rivera, another famous artist who shadowed Kahlo during her lifetime. He had a long affair with Kahlo’s younger sister Cristina but they remarried because of their desperate love and affection for each other. Former students of Kahlo’s reminisced about her lessons when she taught them how to discover the hues that form a color the way a chef tastes food to find its ingredients. The movie also revealed that Frida Kahlo was ill and in pain for most of her adult life after surviving polio and a bus accident followed by thirty subsequent surgeries. She ultimately died from complications due to those injuries.

It was much more interesting and enjoyable for me to view her exhibit after learning about her life because she painted her life, her emotions, her struggles, her joys, and her self. Her paintings were often shocking and a little morbid, but knowing something about the artist made them less so. An overwhelming majority of Frida Kahlo’s works are self-portraits, with a rivaling number of still lifes, which draw upon her Mexican heritage, educational background in medicine, emotional turmoil, physical agony, unwaivering joy, and love of life. Her commemorative website, fridakahlo.com, says, “From 1926 until her death, the Mexican painter Frida Kahlo created striking, often shocking, images that reflected her turbulent life.” Her paintings were always full to the brim with color and imagery… in several instances, her painting couldn’t even be contained by the frame.

“I paint self portraits because I am the person I know best.”         
-Frida Kahlo

I cooked dinner with Oma tonight. We made a really good curry recipe of hers — lots of curry and turmeric, a little cayenne pepper and conversation… delicious!

Last night, I took a late flight out to California to stay with Matthew at his grandparents’ house (Oma and Opa, as he calls them). Our anniversary is on the 19th and he is in desperate need of a vacation, so we decided to spend a week out here. I didn’t wake up in time to get Matthew from the airport this morning, so I spent some time with his cousins until he got here. I had breakfast with Oma, Charlotte, Katy, and Ana. Katy gave me something she had made for me before I had arrived: mounted on a piece of pink construction paper entitled “LOVE ALLY” were a bunch white cut-outs and hearts. I guess they told her that I was coming and, hopefully, she remembered me from our skiing trip.

Katy and Charlotte then insisted that I play Littlest Pet Shop with them. When I was little, I played with Barbies, furry stuffed-animals, Polly Pocket, Kitty-Kitty Kittens, doll houses, and even Littlest Pet Shop. I told her that I used to play with them, but when she showed her animals to me I wasn’t sure anymore. They’ve really changed their appearance since I had them. The new Littlest Pet Shop is to the old as Bratz are to Barbies. While we were playing, I was really impressed with Katy’s creativity and ingenuity! She decided to make a trampoline, so she partially inflated a Ziploc bag. Then she converted the trampoline into an ice-skating rink by deflating it and sprinkling some water on top.

It’s an odd feeling when you realize that you no longer know how to play pretend. Pretend should be the easiest game in the world! No rules, no competition, no limits… every kid can do it, but I felt at a loss. Mainly I watched them play, sorted out “sharing” issues, and responded when they addressed my character, Chocolate Chip. I’m sure that I’ll be able to get the hang of the game when I have kids, but it’ll take some time.

After Matthew came home, we all (meaning, Matthew, Oma, Charlotte, Katy, Ana, and I) walked to the park. The sun was bright, the air was pleasant, and blackberries grew along the roads to the park. We picked a few to eat as we went, then the girls played on the swings and the jungle-gym. I had a great time running around with them, especially when I got to show them how to swing on the monkey-bars. I didn’t dare show them the crazy stuff I used to do on them. Climbing on top, hanging by my legs… Their moms would’ve hated me for the putting the ideas in their heads!

Oma took Matthew and me to Stanford University to have lunch with Opa and go to the Cantor Arts Center. The Arts Center was showing an exhibit called Spared from the Storm: Masterworks from the New Orleans Museum of Art. We saw paintings, sculptures, and sketches by Monet, Picasso, Magritte, Degas, Braque, Cassatt, O’Keeffe, Pollock, Renoir, and others which had been recovered before the damage of Hurricane Katrina. While the museum is being rebuilt, the art exhibit is on tour around the country. We explored the exhibit discussing what we liked, disliked, and didn’t understand. I discovered our shared ambivalence toward modern art forms like cubism and some abstractism… I honestly prefer art with some aspect of reality. Without it, paintings tend to lack a certain depth or meaning with which I can sympathize. However, I do see the value in art which merely entertains the eye using color, lines, and images that are bright, appealing, interesting, provoking, or beautiful.

We came home to a birthday party by the pool for a family friend. All the kids lined up and paraded outside with the lit cake at the front. Then Charlotte begged Matthew and I to go swimming for about an hour before we finally jumped in. It’s definitely been a while since I’ve had a day this full of activity, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

I’m writing this listening to music while sitting at the airport waiting for my 7:30 pm flight to California. Right before leaving my house, I said good-bye to Becca. She gave me the music I’m listening to on a couple of CD’s. She’s leaving for college on August 16 so I won’t get to see her again until the holidays. I really can’t believe that she isn’t going to be at school with me anymore. I’ve never been very good about seeing my friends outside of school, so school was where we became friends. No more Biology or French class…

We finally exchanged our yearbooks. I know it seems a bit late, but we had reserved entire pages in each other’s books and we had all summer to do it. I wrote my last yearbook message to her last night and I started crying after the first sentence. (Someone wrote in blue permanent marker on the opposite page and I accidentally smeared on one of their words… whoops!) We said good-bye and couldn’t stop hugging… I never want to be someone who only needs one hug from someone they care about.

Over the weekend, I got to see Jenna’s new apartment for the first time! She and Jens had left about a week before this to “move in” but didn’t have any furniture with them. This way was more practical because if something went wrong with getting into the apartment, they would’ve had lots of stuff to deal with. Also, they wanted to clean the apartment and get repairs done before they filled it. Although after experiencing life without furniture, I’m sure they were anxious to stop eating their dinners while kneeling next to cardboard boxes.

Jenna and Jens returned home on Thursday to pack up Jenna’s things. Her room has been so neat ever since we put our house on the market (much better than my room ever was). Therefore, it was odd to see all the miscellaneous stuff emerge during the sorting and packing. This is usually how it goes when I clean my room so I understood how overwhelming and tedious a task it was for Jenna.

My bedroom during cleanings is the embodiment of the saying, “It always gets worse before it gets better.” I am a pack-rat — I never want to throw anything away and to do so requires all my self-control. If I can possibly imagine using something in the future, even in an unlikely situation, I feel guilty getting rid of it. So when I clean my room, I have to sift through years of accumulation of random items, too-small clothes, unidentifiable buttons, school papers, worn-out shoes, and other odds-and-ends I wouldn’t throw away last time. Not only do I have way too much stuff, but I seem to think that I must completely reorganize my room every time. Tidying is rarely satisfying because I know that beneath the possibly “nice” appearance of my room, there is so much left to be sorted through and organized. This probably explains why I usually just avoided cleaning it rather than deal with my conflicting urges.

Anyway, back on track… We left with Dad driving the moving truck, Jenna and Jens in her car, and Mom and I in mine. For the drive, I brought along The Reluctant Mr. Darwin by David Quammen. Northwestern sent the book to me as a part of a program they have to encourage students to read for recreation. Coincidentally, they sent me a book that I had been meaning to read! My AP Biology teacher had recommended the book during class when we were discussing Charles Darwin and his theories of evolution. After meeting a man who was an expert on Darwin, she was particularly interested in his years after the H. M. S. Beagle when Darwin was developing his theories. I’ve read over half the book so far and I can’t seem to put it down! With the information I learned in my AP Biology course — one of the most fascinating and influential classes I’ve taken — I’ve been able to understand and enjoy this book on a level higher than mere recreation.

However, most of my reading was done during my visit before bed and on the ride home because I didn’t have much time for reading during the drive there! My mom and I talked all the way there… even when I was reading, I stopped to read excerpts to her and discuss the topics. It was so fun to have that time with her.

The actual moving in process took the whole of the afternoon, evening, and some of the next morning. Dad and Jens had to move most of the heavier items (like the bed, desk, TV, table, dresser, and couches) but the girls did their part! My arms are still a bit sore… but that probably doesn’t say much for my physical fitness.

My sister has a home of her own and I’m really glad to see that she’s happy and well-adjusted. Even in the simple task of grocery shopping or the more complicated task of hosting her family, I can see how responsible and mature she is. I admit that even though I’m scared to go off on my own, I’m anxious to have a home of my own with Matthew.

Happy housewarming, Jenna and Jens!

The dangers of late night baking: fatigue may cause a loss of self-control and you run the risk of ending up with delicious food you can’t get enough of… mmmmmm!

Berry Crumble

about 4 or 5 cups of your favorite berries
scant ½ cup sugar
1 T cornstarch
about ⅓ cup water
3 T lemon juice
1 cup flour
4 T butter or SmartBalance
¹⁄₈ tsp. salt
nutmeg
ginger

Preheat oven to 350°. Fill your baking dish with a layer of berries. Mix the cornstarch with the water. Sprinkle the lemon juice, cornstarch solution, and sugar over the berries. Cream flour, butter, salt, nutmeg, and ginger together. Vary the amount of nutmeg and ginger depending on your preference. Sprinkle over the top of the berries. Bake for 40 minutes.

Jenna officially moved out today. She’s moved out before when she attended UT at San Antonio. It was very hard to say good-bye… and it was an incredible blessing when she came back home. This time however, we’re both going to be moving away and there’s a slim chance either of us will be moving home again (let alone at the same time).

I love you, Jenna. I hope you enjoy your new apartment and your new school. I’ll miss having you with me very much. Visit me!